Midlife Crisis
What is midlife crisis?
“Midlife” is a period of life that typically occurs between the ages of 40 and 60. Many believe this stage naturally comes with inner challenges related to identity, life choices, and the limitation of time. In other words, it is often expected that people face a phenomenon called midlife crisis during this period.
The term “midlife crisis” was first introduced by psychoanalyst Elliott Jacques in the 1960s. According to him, people in their mid to late forties feel death as increasingly near and real. This awareness can lead to a period of depression or sudden lifestyle changes.
Following this statement, the concept of midlife crisis became widely accepted as a biological and inevitable phenomenon and turned into one of the common topics in psychology and sociology.
Symptoms that may indicate a midlife crisis
- Deep sadness and regret: A common symptom of midlife crisis is ruminating over missed opportunities, whether in relationships or career paths. These thoughts can lead to deep dissatisfaction with the present and prevent you from focusing on the positive aspects of life.
- Restlessness and daydreaming: If you feel tired of daily tasks, job responsibilities, or life duties, you may find yourself imagining a different life. For example, thinking about how things would be better if you had a different job or marriage. These fantasies can make it harder to accept reality and create positive changes in your current life.
- Sudden irritability and anger: Feeling restricted by past decisions may cause frustration or anger. These moods might make you upset with close people, like your spouse, parents, or friends, over small issues.
- Excessive nostalgia: Instead of enjoying the present, you may become immersed in past memories; from recalling peak sports days to exciting university times. This focus on the past often causes you to overlook the value of current moments.
- Impulsive and excessive behaviors: Dissatisfaction may push you toward risky behaviors such as unnecessary shopping, increased alcohol or drug use. Even overeating can be a way to cope with boredom or stress. These behaviors not only fail to solve problems but can harm your physical and mental health.
- Changes in sexual desire: Midlife crisis may be accompanied by significant changes in libido. Some experience increased desire, while others notice a decline. Sometimes these feelings can lead to thoughts or actions like infidelity or attraction to much younger people, often rooted in insecurity about aging.
- Transformation in desires and goals: You may suddenly want major changes in your life; from moving to another city or buying a new house to seeking career advancement. These changes can be attempts to compensate for past decisions. On the other hand, you might experience a sense of aimlessness and reduced motivation to pursue goals.
Factors of Midlife Crisis
Physical Changes as a Major Factor in Midlife Crisis
- As you reach midlife, you may notice that you are not the same as before. You might become more susceptible to illnesses such as high blood pressure or cardiovascular diseases. These physical changes can cause fear or despair about the future and contribute to a midlife crisis.
- Women enter menopause during midlife, which is accompanied by symptoms such as hot flashes, mood changes, and sleep disturbances. These symptoms can increase overall stress and lead to a midlife crisis.
- Men may experience a gradual decline in testosterone levels during midlife. Factors such as illness, alcohol misuse, medication side effects, and increased body fat can lead to reduced testosterone. This decline can cause symptoms like depression, decreased libido, and sleep disorders, which intensify the midlife crisis.
Changes in Family Dynamics
- Many parents experience "Empty Nest Syndrome" during midlife. This syndrome refers to the sadness parents feel when their children become independent and leave home. It is especially common among mothers, who are the primary caregivers. When parents reevaluate their role in the family and focus on changes, they may feel loneliness or emptiness, leading to a midlife crisis.
- Changes in relationships with elderly parents can also be stressful. Caring for aging parents can bring significant physical and emotional strain, and their death can cause major life changes.
- Divorce is another event that may trigger a midlife crisis. Separation from a long-term partner can create conflicting emotions such as grief, anger, and confusion. This issue may negatively impact family relationships and intimacy among family members.
Job Changes
- According to a 2019 survey by Indeed, people typically seek job changes around age 39. Many midlifers take on new job responsibilities that can cause stress and anxiety.
- If you don’t change jobs, you may remain in higher positions within the same job. Although these changes might have financial benefits, new responsibilities can increase your stress.
- Many middle-aged individuals find their jobs declining. Getting stuck in daily job routines can lead to dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfillment at work.
Financial Changes and Midlife Crisis
- Many of the events mentioned can impact your financial stability. You may need to spend more on caring for elderly parents, or job changes might require you to review your financial expenses.
- Job loss or sudden changes in the job market can put significant financial pressure, especially when people feel the need for greater psychological security at this stage of life.
- If your adult children face financial problems, you may experience more stress. Research shows that middle-aged parents are more anxious and more prone to depression when their children's economic future is at risk.
Childhood Adversities as a Risk Factor
- Certain childhood experiences can increase health risks in adulthood and contribute to a midlife crisis. These experiences can raise stress levels and worsen the midlife crisis.
- For example, losing parents in childhood can increase the likelihood of depression and midlife crisis later. Growing up in poverty may raise the risk of chronic stress and heart disease in adulthood. Poor parental behavior or exposure to parental divorce conflicts can have similar negative effects.
How to Help Your Loved Ones During a Midlife Crisis?
- Be a good listener: Let the person freely talk about their worries and troubles. Avoid judging and only offer suggestions after they finish speaking. Sometimes just listening can create big changes.
- Express your concerns carefully: Instead of saying things like "I think you are having a midlife crisis," you can say, "I feel like you are not feeling well as usual, is everything okay?" This helps the person feel cared for rather than labeled.
- Immediate help in case of suicide threat: If the person threatens to harm themselves or others, act immediately. If they do not respond reasonably, take them to the emergency room for evaluation. If they refuse hospital, contact a psychologist and do not leave them alone until help arrives.
- Encourage seeing a doctor: Remind them that seeing a specialist can help diagnose physical problems that might underlie behavioral changes. For example, early Alzheimer's can cause behavioral changes. A doctor can check their physical health and diagnose hidden problems.
- Seek counseling help if needed: If you feel you cannot help the person alone, it is better to consult a psychologist. The psychologist can give you strategies to calm the person and encourage their return to normal life if necessary.